Tuesday, May 30, 2006
No miracle
When I got up this morning, I was hoping that there was miracle so that the thing I put in the fridge could become what I wanted it to be. However, there is no miracle. I guess I will try to make it again later.
I feel bad about last night. I told him that I would listen to him whenever he had problem or just wanna talk to me, but I didn't really understand him even though I listened to him last night. I shouldn't be upset just because he couldn't make it to the beach. He has to work as a volunteer without rest for his church, and he is already really tired right now. Going to beach needs a lot of energy which he won't have any right after returning from LA. Yet, I gave him a hard time and called him a "baka". The real baka is me. I am too selfish. I thought he would try to make it to the beach, and we could have awesome time there, but I didn't think about that even if he makes it to the beach, he won't get to enjoy anything because the only thing he wants to do is getting some rest... I guess there is no miracle this summer, but it is ok. We are going to see each other all the time next semester, and that's a luxuriousness for many people. I should be thankful, not upset or sad, because he is my miracle! On the other hand, I cannot promise that I won't "cheat on" him, since I am going to be with Chrstie titi in that awesome beach... (:p) I know he trusts me, and I hope he knows that I won't leave him, so I won't "come back" either. I miss him, but I will try not to be sad about not seeing him. It is a discipline between us. There is no shortcut or miracle but love and trust to overcome that discipline, which I believe we have both of them~ I love him.
I feel bad about last night. I told him that I would listen to him whenever he had problem or just wanna talk to me, but I didn't really understand him even though I listened to him last night. I shouldn't be upset just because he couldn't make it to the beach. He has to work as a volunteer without rest for his church, and he is already really tired right now. Going to beach needs a lot of energy which he won't have any right after returning from LA. Yet, I gave him a hard time and called him a "baka". The real baka is me. I am too selfish. I thought he would try to make it to the beach, and we could have awesome time there, but I didn't think about that even if he makes it to the beach, he won't get to enjoy anything because the only thing he wants to do is getting some rest... I guess there is no miracle this summer, but it is ok. We are going to see each other all the time next semester, and that's a luxuriousness for many people. I should be thankful, not upset or sad, because he is my miracle! On the other hand, I cannot promise that I won't "cheat on" him, since I am going to be with Chrstie titi in that awesome beach... (:p) I know he trusts me, and I hope he knows that I won't leave him, so I won't "come back" either. I miss him, but I will try not to be sad about not seeing him. It is a discipline between us. There is no shortcut or miracle but love and trust to overcome that discipline, which I believe we have both of them~ I love him.
posted by Sisi @ 9:04 AM |
1 Comments:
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osamu said... im really sorry about last night sisi... i deserved to b called baka. im sorry that i cant go to the beach with u... ill hold u even tighter when we see each other again. i love you...
- 5:30 PM, May 30, 2006